do what you want but a lot of the advice on this thread seems more like a way to mask insecurity or project ability whether or not you actually have any.
It might help if you get a chin strap (make sure its lined up). Call me crazy but i think it would do wonders maybe a fo hawk as well.
Are you at MBA part time and work? If so, maybe you can expense seeing a shrink to get some professional advice. If not, guess you have to rely on this thread. I guess the first step is recognition of the problem…maybe try getting yourself psyched up or plan out group meetings better so you know what you are going to say and appear more decisive.
I took the original poster to imply that he is actually confident but just doesnt project it…he didnt really indicate what he thinks of himself. Just the perception that others have. If you really arent confident in yourself I think that is something you need to solve on your own, as to why it is etc. If it is a projection problem, I dont think the thread is too far off…
Thanks everyone. I need to get out of my comfort zone more often and ‘just do it’ with regards to what I want to say. I go to school full time. I was seeing a counselor last year since I was so overwhelmed with everything. He was very helpful to giving me guidance. So often I overlook my skills and solely at my weaknesses. I may have to check in with him again and see what he advises on building confidence. His service is free via the university.
fake it until you make it! act like you have it ( confidence) and it will soon be second nature.
Toastmasters.
I agree with the Jersey Shore approach…GTL
The ability to deal with people. That is pretty much it. Once you become a master in human relations, your confidence level and the ability to lead comes with ease. I say this from personal experience. On every project that I take on, I have had to craft the interpersonal skills unique to that client. This becomes very handy in a client facing role like mine, and gets better with experience. And we win work mostly based on these two traits, among others. Also, being happy with yourself and having above avg skills for the job will only build more confidence and pave the way to land leadership opportunities.
This is a great post! Any suggestions for books to read, things to do to build these skills? Thanks,
^ Try “Vivekananda - The World Teacher”. Great read! http://www.ramakrishna.org/catalog/archive/SV_world_teacher.html
Confidence comes from knowing that you can (and have) handled the challenges that life throws at you, and knowing that you are prepared whatever comes your way. If you want to be a more confident leader, then make sure you know your stuff cold and are really on top of your work. Once you get to that point, don’t be afraid to show it in appropriate situations (without bragging or sounding like a douce). Others will pick up on it and you will be perceived as more confident (and actually will be more confident). The rest is just posturing. Go see a body language coach for a few sessions if you are serious about improving. If you want to be more confident with women, read this blog: http://roissy.wordpress.com/. It’s ruthless (and hilarious), but it definitely works. Your question is fairly vague QJ, so it’s hard to be very specific with an answer. Figure out what you want to accomplish and then come up with a game plan to get there. It might take a little effort and some failed attempts, but it’s definitely doable. I used to be a shy, level headed guy as well, and I’m much louder and confident now (of course, trying to survive in a tough hedge fund work environment definitely helps in this respect).
The “maybe, kinda, I’m no expert but” thing, means you are afraid of being wrong. It also means that many times you will not receive full credit for being right, because on others pov you were ‘guessing’