20% is personality, 30% is your experience and maturity, 50% is what you read who you meet and how you perceive the world…
Thank you !
That was directed to my buddy Itera.
Even successful women want to be SAHMs now. I was dating a girl that was very successful in her line of work. She makes 6 figures but works crazy hours. She’s tired of the daily grind and wants to become a stay at home now.
You’ll have more and more women fighting for the men that can provide that lifestyle. The top 5% of men have it real good.
You forgot about s3x
I agree completely on SAHM issue - a lot of women want that option. But from what I heard it’s not all black and white. Some men (and I am not talking about top 5%, what’s the point of talking about of them - they got everything going for them) cannot handle the pressure of being the primary breadwinner. They get frustrated/annoyed with their wives etc
I also sort of understand the “working crazy hours/tired of daily grind” attitude women get, but I think it’s not fair towards men - they never get the option of “getting out”.
^^ May be a good thing that you’re anonymous on these boards. Actually no, that can’t be right… What’s your name?
Haha, NANA I can’t quite figure out if you are for real or not… anyway, funny stuff…
COMPLETELY REAL!
The traditional Japanese culture, up until today, is that women should NOT work as soon as they get married, whether they have kids or not.
Obviously it’s shifting a little, but not by a lot. Women with kids are still expected to be stay at home moms, and the working moms are “exceptions”.
It’s hard to be a stay at home parent i think, but it’s also very necessary. Think about it, who takes care of the child? People often think kids don’t need too much attention at day time once they go to school, but it’s not really true because those are the ONLY hours for moms to do house chores, grocery shops, and a bit of personal life! Once the kids get out of school, they demand almost 100% attention.
I don’t understand why one would want to be a SAHM, losing a second income is a big deal…
NANA, do you fap?
Believe me I’ve thought about it!
But some people will never have that option.
like i said, sometimes it’s out of necessity.
being a parent is the most important job - more so than having additional income sometimes.
yes, we need food on the table but if one income meets the minimum requirement, perhaps it’s worth having a stay at home parent (at least for a few years) so the kid(s) have some attention and guidence.
what is fap?
Please don’t tarnish the innocence of nana but answering this question and the follow up questions / statements to come.
Nana - your view on children, spot on. I would like some of these values to transfer over to american women.
Eh, it’s just different strokes. Many smart ambitious people marry smart ambitious people, and either half of the couple would go insane staying at home all of the time. I know a woman who is married to an MD at a major bank. He doesn’t have to work because he’s old money (named estate in a fancy beach town, etc) but he does. She certainly doesn’t have to work but she does as well. She tried staying at home and it drove her crazy.
I know a guy whose wife makes serious coin, like millions of dollars a year in a senior management role at a large company. He had a very good job, multiple six figures, but their kid was sick so he stays home and teaches jazz (passion of his) to keep from going insane.
I know a couple that both have to work to support the family, he as construction (carpentry) and her for the government. It’s all good. You do what you need to do and what makes you the most happy at the same time.
You can choose whatever lifestyle you want if you are single, and you may even still be able to maintain the desired lifestyle after you get married - BUT once you have children, you need to be prepared to take sacrifices.
YES, it’s tough to be a stay at home parent, and it would drive most people crazy losing the social aspects of life. But when you have kids you have to put them into consideration (first), and you need to think about what’s best for them - is it to puruse your own career and make lots of money and accomplishments or is it about raising healthy and happy kids?
What if both parents work, but employment of only one is really required to sustain lifestyle / savings. Does the other have to quit to be with kid, to maximize opportunities and make sure kid reaches full potential?
I think so.
A lot of people (including a lot of my friends) would disagree
BWYF is right, there is no one single correct template for raising kids. You might think/hope there is, but there is none. Some people sah, some woh, some people have a choice, some don’t. Bottom line people always want the best for their kids. The way they try to achieve it is not for us to judge.
Also, kids are very sensitive and perceiving to the emotional health of their parents. If you are not happy for whatever reason, it will be reflected on your child. I think that has to be considered before making any sacrifices.