Or when someone says “I think the decision will have to be partly quantitative and a little bit of this”…*proceeds to lick index finger and hold it up in the air*
love those SR71 stories
i like when Latin words are used.
De minimis
Et tu Brute
The place I work now doles out punishment for using favorite phrases from one of our buzz-word loving investors - incremental, granular, 30,000 foot view, etc. Least favorite by far though is cautiously optimistic…
Jobbing
I used to be guilty of using ceteris paribus, but got tired of telling people what it meant so I stopped. I’m in b-val and we sometimes conclude that the value of something is de minimis because we’ll almost never say something has zero value.
“Not many people actually look under the hood on these kinds of deals”
“We do an on-site and kick the tires”
“Before we pull the trigger we’ve got to go to the supermarket and squeeze the produce”
Actually, I just made that last one up, but it should totally be a thing…
It’s a no brainer
non-traders using the word arbitrage.
Do you reply to perpetrator that, therefore, it should be right up his alley?
LOL kick the tires…hated that.
When people talk about multiplying initial investments over time with the suffix “bagger,” as in, “if you had invested in XYZ asset class over the last ABC years, you would have experienced a five-bagger…”
Send me the latest and greatest.
“essentially means”
“win-wins situation”
“pay by the drink”
“I know what they need”
“margin”
“pull through business”
“amortizing when they mean capitalized”
“price when they mean cost”
“getting my house in order”
“i’m not following you”
“let’s touch base in the AM”
“hey bud”
My old finance manager used to always say “book em Dan’o” whenever we were closing the books for the month.
“Duration”
“Interest rates”
“Correlation”
“Portfolio construction”
“Inflation”
“Risk”
“Expected return”
I’m so sick of hearing about all this crap.
Just heard today:
“Haircut”
“Correction”
“Buying the dips”
Let’s put these ideas in the parking lot and come back to them.
Produced this elevator speech this morning, just for fun:
“I’m a business copy writer, I leverage high-profile bizspeak to add mission-critical positioning to best-of-breed nonsense that places innovesque solutions at the forefront of client mindshare in order to incent optimal stickiness.”
Sounds like you’re listening to the dips.
Absolutely. We have a rule – three douchey statement limit and then the meeting is over. No explanation, no social graces, we just tell the manager to pick his @$$ up off of that Italian leather chair and get the f*** out of here. Then we add a “That’s it, Skippy, pack your s#!t. Let’s go!!”
At that point, it scarcely matters if they know why they were discharged. We are doing our small part to violently filter the stuffed shirts directly out of the industry, one lost mandate at a time.