I’ll give you advice that no guy hitting on you will ever tell you:
The top 20% of guys get 80% of the women. For the guys that don’t believe me, test it out. Go with 10 guys to a museum, sporting event, bar, grocery, cruise, charity event, happy hour, etc. The same 2 guys will always pick up. There might be a random 3rd guy that gets lucky. 6 out them will never pick up anything.
Guys that got it (looks, career, personality, status) hold the power in the relationship. And they know it. They don’t have a biological clock so the power shifts to them in their late 20s. Guys are more visual than women and there will always be the temptation to trade their current gal with a younger one as there are always new 20 year olds entering the market. Some guys in the upper 20% realize that they will have to at some point settle before they lose their edge while others like Clooney believe they will never lose their edge.
It’s a catch 22 for women. Do you date the shy, average, sometimes confident guy that might not be very adventurous but will be a great dad, unselfish, faithful partner or do you roll the dice with the upper 20% and hope the temptation that’s constantly around him doesn’t get to him. Even being the perfect partner to him and cooking 7 course meals in lingerie might not be enough to keep him in the long run. In my experience, women prefer to tame the beast than to get out the beast from the nice guy. I don’t know if the latter works, but the former almost never does.
We live in a world where alpha males get rewarded and where betas get passed by. You will find better risk/return value in the second group if you are looking for a LTR…but the problem is that these guys will rarely approach you.
Great response! And I agree with many of your points (I’ve heard of 80/20 rule before)
I would add that women tend to go for alpha males in their early 20s as a self validation of a sort. It’s like a challenge or accomplishment: you are better (more attractive etc) cause the hottest guy went for you and not your girlfriend.
In the late 20s/early 30s when women actually start to look for a potential husband to create family with, they realize that beta males in most cases make for easier partners, are more supportive etc
Of course there is also a taste preference. Some women take pride in their husbands being alpha males or as you call them BSDs
You know I am at the point of my life where I am really tired of playing hard to get games etc. I’ll take the lifetime movies and cuddling as I am fairly certain I can convince him for some hot s3x.The other way around - I am not so sure…
It’s probably more exciting for you to be a bad (alpha) male, I understand… But good guys are not necessarily “passive” that in your world means second class or something…
I undestand the thrill of being an alpha male, but you can’t claim alpha is better than beta.
I think we should be clear about what we are talking about when we are talking about alpha males. A traditional alpha male within the context of our society would be dead or in jail by the time they are twenty five. I would consider any person working on wall street tied to a desk punching numbers into excel as deluded if they thought of themselves as alpha, including myself.
Nowadays, I think the true alphas would be found in the military, professional sports, police, firefighters, ranchers basically any profession where the very real possibility of death or violence exists.
British Open next week, so I’ll probably manscape this weekend.
BTW, all you horny aholes who can’t resist hijacking each thread while hitting on krnyc2008, why don’t you start a new thread dedicaded to her? It’ll save me from clicking on each thread with new posts, only to find out the new posts have nothing to do with the god damn topic of the thread.
You are right. I have a different definition in mind. Something like this: intense, type A personality, obsessed with (not just focused on) career/money, power/status hungry, demanding/unforgiving to the partner etc
I disagree with this classification of an alpha (with the exception of a pro athlete). I think those of us who work in high finance to be fully capable of being considered an alpha if they possess the ability to transfer their skills into those other jobs seemlessly. Death and violence should play no part in this decision - just my thoughts.
I think the key in being “alpha” is the ability to dominate or control other males, and (many) females like being with you because they feel safe (from others) and because they feel that its validating when the dominant man decides to be with them. Of course if the alpha male is nasty to them because he’s just nasty to everyone, the women may decide it’s not worth it, or that it’s time to leave or cheat on him. The alpha stuff impresses young women more than more experienced women.
It used to be that being dominant was primarily about physical strength and the ability to beat other guys up if they challenge you. That’s not completely irrelevant anymore, but these days things like power and money are alternative ways of being dominant in a group, because you can pay to make things happen that others cant. So, in that way, being a well paid excel jockey can be alpha-izing. Though generally you need to be a bit of a moneyed jerk to make it show. Personally, I think the alpha/beta thing is silly. I am not an alpha type, and quite honestly don’t have much trouble attracting women if I want to (though it took time to figure out how - I was horrible at it in my 20s). An obsession with alpha-ness is kind of fun in your 20s if you can pull it off, but after about 30 it is kinda lonely as the people who even think in terms of alpha/beta find themselves increasingly irrelevant and insecure while the rest of the world has gone and finally graduated from high school. After 30 (or even 25), the kind of women who react primarily to how alpha a man is tend to be so vacuous and shallow that there’s no real satisfaction in being with them, and even as trophy wives or GFs it’s like eating well shaped wonder bread. Ultimately humans need connections on various levels to have a satisfying relationship, and “we both like money so much” doesn’t really go very far, and the feeling that you are being admired because you have money as opposed to other things about you just doesn’t satisfy either. That isn’t to say, it isn’t great as a guy to have money and power and good looks and strength and confidence. It just means that to be obsessed with being the dominant guy in the group at all times stops being attractive to most people after a certain point and the people who are are basically left in a very small world where they only associate with other empty types.