the rumor is that NY folks go on dates like 3x a week, in stark contrast to west coasters who go far far less frequent. And that many west coast girls tend to not give a damn, show up late, yes means maybe, and maybe means no, given the huge abundance of dudes (given tech and IT sectors out there), and even the uglies easily find boyfriends.
anyone dated on both sides able to validate or refute?
Yes, only the East Coast has quality dating. Nothing about dating works or makes sense on the West Coast, and the very nature of women is dramatically different on this side of the country (we’re all practically a different species over here). Somehow we all manage to get by but you should pity the tens of millions of people who have to endure this endless suffering day-after-day.
Did you say you went to an Ivy League school?
I grew up on the West Coast in the Bay Area. I can say I’ve never had a satisfying date there, and while the women there make for decent friend material, there aren’t very many that I get could even get all that excited about romantically or physically. As a kid, teenager, and young adult, I still had hormones making me want sex, so I tried, but it was not very satisfying and I wasn’t very good at it. It was an exceedingly frustrating experience.
The East coast was/is way different for me.
Women on the West Coast would scarcely give me the time of day. Women on the East Coast were fun to meet and talk to. Those that I slept with were pretty much all very fun and satisfying. It’d be interesting to see if time and experience would make me more successful at meeting and dating on the West Coast today, but I can say that on my visits back home, I have rarely met anyone out there who seems worth putting in much effort to date. I guess the male female ratio out there makes women feel they don’t have to do very much to attract a guy. After all, where else is he going to go, except maybe to the Castro district.
I think that’s because you lived in the Bay Area, which has the worst women in the country. And a lot of lesbians. SF is not representative of the West Coast imo.
Putting all west coast women under one blanket is not a wonderful idea
Yeah. I’d agree with krnyc’s point. Bay Area is definitely not the same as LA or San Diego, which has different issues.
Also my East Coast experience is New York biased. I also lived in DC which was better than the Bay Area but far less impressive than NY.
well I have to say that this all sounds pretty darn awful.
I’m just going to get a cat.
NO! Just take a break from it. You sound burnt out
I recently found an ex-New Yorker on okcupid that I’m planning to ask out this week. Real job, cute, redhead. Rather exciting, as least relative to most women I find on there.
Did you get a cat, itera? I saw that you had a Roomba, pet version, so I thought maybe you had pulled the trigger on the nine lives critter.
So you’re updating us on an online profile of someone you saw but still haven’t even asked out yet?
that’s assuming
it’s even a real person
she responds to you
she’s not actually super fat in real life
she looks remotely like her picture (for online dating, consider it a success if she looks 70% of what her pics look like)
she’s not a psychopath
she’s not a single mom
she didn’t lie about her age
there are a lot more, but im tired now
^ all valid points. But it’s been a slow few months for me, so even asking somebody out is decent step. I’m also looking to do more to meet people in real life. Strange concept, I know.
Brings back memories of some awkward experiences. What do you say when this happens? I tend to let it go and at least try to enjoy the conversation. Then I end up feeling like the jerk if the main reason I don’t want to see them again is because they put on (a LOT of) weight.
I’ve had some people tell me that they turn around and walk away prior to the introduction which seems a bit harsh. Is there a happy medium in there somewhere? Don’t want to be rude but don’t want to waste my time either.
Okcupid… good times 
I don’t feel guilty about it. It’s fooling no one if said person is quite noticebly significantly fatter vs their picture. if anything, it’s just wasting my time.
Why not just invite them to drinks, and grab dinner if you want to continue the conversation?
Who has time for that sh*t? I remember briefly doing the online dating thing and it becomes such a drag on your time with something like 80% of the time being spent weeding out weirdos who are nothing like their photos or descriptions. You learn to look carefully at cue’s like upper arm to get an idea for body fat. It’s also funny because if you scroll through their profile photos from first to last it’s typically like watching them age in fast forward.
That is essentially what ends up happening. It just feels like a waste of time, probably for both parties in the end. If I know it’s a dealbreaker from the start, do I still carry on through the night as if it’s not and try to have a good time? Is that better or worse than finding a not terrible way to say that I don’t think it’s going to work out and leaving?
I didn’t mind seeing how the date played out the first, second, fifth, or tenth time…but sometime after that it began to feel tedious. Looking for some efficiency here, too much to ask?
the coffee/drinks idea is best for first time meetups. bec no matter how psycho, fat, or boring they are. You can speed up or slow down the meeting as much as you want. i can’t imagine sitting through an entire dinner with someone you are totally turned off by