Hi All, My GMAT is coming up in the next couple days, and one area I haven’t spent as much time on is the Analytical Writing Assessment (AWA) component. I know a bunch of you have taken the GMAT, and while I should probably post this on gmatclub.com, I’ve always appreciated the feedback from people here (whereas I have not posted on gmatclub and don’t have any track record). Below is the “analyze the argument” question which I answered in 25 minutes (out of 30…want to give myself some buffer time in case I get anxious on the exam). Please let me know what you would grade this, and any recommendations for improvement would be much appreciated (e.g. too long vs. too short, need for more “real life” examples, . I’d like to get a 5 or better, but won’t agonize too much about getting a 4 if that’s what it comes down to. Thanks guys. ----------- ANALYZE THIS ARGUMENT: “Our total sales have increased this year by 20 percent since we added a pharmacy section to our grocery store. Clearly, the customer’s main concern is the convenience afforded by one-stop shopping. The surest way to increase our profits over the next couple of years, therefore, is to add a clothing department along with an automotive supplies and repair shop. We should also plan to continue adding new departments and services, such as a restaurant and a garden shop, in subsequent years. Being the only store in the area that offers such a range of services will give us a competitive advantage over other local stores.” MY RESPONSE: The management of Megamart asserts that the 20% sales growth it achieved this year was the result of adding a pharmacy section to its grocery store, and that similar levels of growth and profitability expansion can be achieved going forward if the company expands into other areas such as clothing, automotive supplies, and repair shops in an attempt to make Megamart a “one-stop shop” for its customers. However, there are several shortcomings of this argument as well as lack of evidence concerning the key drivers of growth, which render the argument weak and unconvincing. First of all, management assumes that the 20% sales growth was driven by the addition of the pharmacy section. However, there could have been other factors for this growth, such as growth in demand for certain grocery products, not to mention that sales growth does not necessarily translate to profitability growth. Management should conduct an analysis based on product of stock type in order to identify which type of good grew most rapidly. This would provide the management team with a much better idea as to what is really driving the growth. In addition, management should consider conducting a detailed analysis of sales in order to determine how much of the growth is driven by price and how much of it is driven by unit, in order to achieve even greater granularity on the reasons for growth. Importantly, an analysis by product should also enable management to have better visibility on the company’s cost structure, as growth in sales might not necessarily imply improved profitability, especially if cost margins are ballooning. Secondly, management makes no indication that it has considered potential competitive dynamics and demographic landscape as additional reasons for growth. For example, if one of Megamart’s key competitors left the area, then Megamart could become a sole-source supplier of certain items and would thus possess greater pricing power over its products. Similarly, if the demographics changed in a way that drew more people to the community in which Megamart was located, then the company would benefit from having additional customers shop for groceries. Finally, even if it were true that the pharmacy was the principal growth driver during the past year, management makes an unsubstantiated assumption that similar growth can be replicated in future years, and that expansion into other markets would necessarily enable the company to achieve this growth. Given that every industry has different market dynamics, Megamart should perform careful diligence in order to better understand the customer concentration, supplier concentration, pricing power, and extent of product differentiation for any new markets into which the company is considering expanding. Management might also consider running a statistical or financial analysis, and carefully explaining the data and assumptions underpinning those analyses in order to provide a more convincing case. In the end, management’s argument as it stands remains weak and unconvincing. Further data should be gathered concerning individual product sales from past years in order to better understand how much of the growth was actually driven by expansion into pharmacy products, as opposed to growth in the underlying and existing grocery products. In addition, management needs to carefully examine the expense side of the equation, as an improvement in sales will not translate to improvement in profits if average costs have risen. Finally, management should make a statement about the competitive landscape and demographic composition, and conduct a thoughtful study in better understanding whether new markets truly represent attractive expansion opportunities. Detailed financial and market analysis and data from those studies would strengthen its claims.
Chineseburned?
I saw an AWA guide by that guy which I thought was pretty helpful, so I guess I am following a similar format. Basically, I’m concerned that I put off preparing for the AWA for too long, and am hoping that’s not the case. I’d like to dedicate the rest of my time to other stuff but if there are major ways where I can improve my AWA, please let me know and I can work on them. Not much time left.
Dude, i dont speak english and i got 4.5 on AWA. You will get 6 no problem 
That’s encouraging, comp_sci_kid. I’m also hoping that the 5,000+ posts I’ve made on this forum have helped me hone my ability to type quickly and come up with good, sensible points on the fly.
Just got my AWA score this morning and came in at a 6… My essays weren’t nearly that good. So… relax, stop preparing for the AWA and put your last time into focusing on the Quant and Verbal. Just my $.02
I also is no speak english good. No, seriously though, don’t worry about the AWA. First, you’ll get a 3 or higher if you’re not retarded. Second, English seems to be your first language so you’ll get a 5 no problem. Worry about the other crap. Like how to get to your test center.
I took the GMAT twice and got a 6 both times. Your post is definitely a 6.
I have been trying to get ready for GMAT for 2 month so far, lucky, I just passed LIII last year. I noticed that if I am to follow a format similar to IPS, I can do pretty well in AWA on GMAT. First restate the underlying assumptions. 1st point 2nd point 3rd point Conclustion.
Nice, clear response, numi. I especially liked that you didn’t search for unnecessary words to convey your points. Are they searching for aspects like correct spelling, grammar and clear structure in your answer? Or are they actually concerned with the strength of the argument?
sid3699 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Chineseburned? That’s the best guide ever. Just follow his suggestions and you will get 6.0 for AWA. I wouldn’t waste my time practicing AWA.
AWA is completely meaningless. Get a 3+ (yes you will probably get a 5 or 6) and no one cares. Stop worrying and go back to Verbal.
me no speako engligh very nice, but me use Minto Pyramid and double happiness with 6 score. Seriously, if you are familiar with the 5 paragraph essay or the Minto Pryramid, you should get a 5.5 at the very worst. Besides, I don’t think any b-school looks at it very closely.
kant Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I also is no speak english good. > > No, seriously though, don’t worry about the AWA. > First, you’ll get a 3 or higher if you’re not > retarded. Second, English seems to be your first > language so you’ll get a 5 no problem. > > Worry about the other crap. Like how to get to > your test center. +1 I got a 5.5 on mine and my essays were not that well constructed.
I haven’t started studying AWA yet either. My exam is on 9/4. Good luck numi.
I got a 5.5 as well, without ever writing out a full essay before the real thing. Not something to worry about.
in your posts, the way you write is well reasoned and constructed. if your AWA is anywhere similar to them, you’ll do fine. i got a 6 and i consider my writing to be far weaker. as others have mentioned, the AWA score is not hugely important so long as you don’t score below a 3. focus most of your attention on the rest of the exam. good luck. if you do the free sample exams on gmat.com, they will score your AWA for you as well if i remember correctly. good luck.
Take out “First of all,” put First, or nothing at all. less is more. Take out “in the end” put “Finally” or nothing at all. I didn’t really read anything beyond the first few words of each sentence. That being said it looks like a 6 to me. I got a 6 and didn’t write anything particularly remarkable or remarkably…
Numi, just find a basic template (I used Princeton review) and practice once or twice only with your practice tests. AWA is a joke for native english speakers. I’m embarrassed to say I only got 5.5 
Elements of Style – the best book in the world (after Intelligent Investor)