After thinking about Episode 8 for a while, I realized that this Rian guy was basically out to offend all Star Wars fans, and that his “subverting expectations” was really just a way to troll people who care about series consistency and Star Wars universe lore. Technically, it is not the worst movie there, but I now put it last, due to the director’s overt destruction of franchise goodwill, and his seeming hatred for the fandom, along with intentional disdainful treatment of certain characters. Episode 1 was too goofy for its own good, but at least uncle George was trying to do some good for the property.
In fact, when viewed as a trilogy, Episodes 1-3, in my opinion, are a much stronger work than any individual movie in that set. The whole sequence had a consistent objective and expanded on crucial elements of Star Wars. The Star Wars story is stronger and more meaningful after adding the back story of Anakin and other Jedi in their prime era.
Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for the new trilogy of movies. Other than Kylo Ren, there is not a single new character in these three movies who is compelling or interesting in any way. The fact that Disney had to bring back old Sheev in an attempt to recapture audience interest shows how little people care about the new characters. Episodes 7-9 subtract from the overall franchise. Not only do these movies add nothing thematically to Star Wars, but they damage and invalidate many of the characterizations and concepts established by the previous, beloved films.
So anyway, with this in mind, here is my rating:
Episode 4: Great, groundbreaking. Makes other sci fi movies from this era look like pieces of total crap. Nothing like it ever existed.
Episode 5: Still great. Darth Father plot twist is brilliant for 1980. The practical effects continued to achieve new cinematographic heights. The character of Boba Fett is introduced intended to be some kind of badass, but is actually a total cuck in the end.
Episode 6: Good to great. A lot of the elements are just more polished versions of the previous 2 films, but it’s less original. Metal bikini is a weird choice for a pervert slug crime lord. Ending space battle is still good - it must have exploded peoples’ minds in 1983. The ewoks totally ate dead human bodies in the last scene.
Episode 1: A cinematic failure. Lucas lost it - imagine an old athlete who never trained for years and then loses horribly even though he did his best. CGI really aged poorly. Clearly made to sell toys to kids.
Episode 2: Overall still bad, but is an important cultural work, due to the countless memes that came out of it and enriched our world. It had specks of brilliance - basically all the scenes where Palpatine and Obi-Wan’s actors realized how stupid the movie will be and are hamming up their performances for fun. Also, people under appreciate how the setting of this movie is actually really interesting. The fact that there is such a good TV series based on Clone Wars makes this evident.
Episode 3: Good! Writing is still laughable, but cinematography, atmosphere, and overall feeling of closure help the film succeed. In a way, it elevates the previous 2 films, as this film wouldn’t have the same emotional impact if you weren’t familiar with little sh*t kid Anakin and all the happy stuff that cratered and burned in the end.
Episode 7: Still good! Even though Disney-fide and Disney-generic. The recycling of old plot, at this point, is alliteration and opens the way for a future compelling story. Can’t wait for the sequel!
Episode 8: Crime against humanity, for reasons above. Johnson butt****** people like Greenman and got paid millions in the process. How can Harvey Weinstein be jailed and the monster Rian Johnson be allowed to roam free?
Episode 9: Eh ok I guess, but didn’t have a point of existing. They spent half the movie trying to undo Episode 8. Lead characters were boring and no one cares about them. The plot was clearly scrapped together in a panic. The film takes itself too seriously, so there isn’t even meme potential. Eventually, it will be forgotten.
Tanks for reading and heed always the teachings of Darth Plagueis the Wise.
