i refuse to shell out money on a stripper…forget it…unless i’m rich and wealthy, the calculus just doesn’t make sense…
^ live a little
There is a strip club in the town I live (not a large town, college town). Some of my friends hang out with a guy I call “party animal millionaire.” He is guy in his 40s who owns a couple of businesses and spends all his money on things related to women – so mostly partying, strippers, and the like. He takes my buddies to the strip club in town and pays for those “Champagne rooms” for them. Sometimes they end up casually dating the strippers after that night, but it doesn’t seem like they are ever disappointed that night. Not sure if its like that everywhere or this strip club is just more in touch with the client’s needs 
Does anyone go to strip clubs alone? Who are those people?
It’s not surprising, that a forum for financial analysts, would be filled with nerdy, cheap, math geeks trying to figure out the value add for a strip club.
It’s not investment. If you look at it this way then of course you’re gonna hate them.
Here is why you should go to strip clubs, even if you can get laid:
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To drink. Why not just go to a bar? Well, then you’re just an alcoholic, especially if you are alone. Strip Clubs are good for drinking at alone or with a group of buddies without any real social stigma or pressure. It’s like going to the theater, but for heterosexual men. Got a girlfriend? Great bring her along. The strip club is a great way to get your girlfriend interested in threesomes with other women and also to break her into the fact that you are, and always will be, a womanizing sleeze. If she accepts that fact about and she can participate with you then you will be on the road to happiness. My girlfriend and I started out with strip clubs and graduated to threesomes. We even order the occasional hooker now and then. She thinks its kinda fun, but mostly just likes seeing me happy. Because she’s a part of it, there is no betrayal.
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A CDS on your wife’s body turning into a blimp. If youre middle-aged and your wife becomes fat to the point where you don’t want to have sex with her anymore, what are you gonna do? Get a divorce? Come on, you probably can’t afford that. It would cost you half your assets and hurt the kids. Get a mistress? Come on, your probably not that rich and handsome yourself to woo a young coquette. Maybe you’re just too lazy to bother? Even if you could get a hot mistress, you run the risk of the wife finding out and divorcing you and taking half of your assets. A hooker? Well you could do, but in most places it is illegal and you probably can’t afford the high end ones which means you’d get a nasty looking Puerto Rican trannie. And god forbid you get arrested banging a puertorican trannie in a place like the US. Career ended. Even the high end ones can get you in trouble, ask Elliot Spitzer.
You have two choices: 1) going on a murderous rampage followed by a blowing out your own brains on Fox News or 2) the Strip Club CDS on your wife’s now undersirable lumpy body; sure this CDS is not a perfect hedge for your zoftig middle-aged wife’s fat ass but Jamie Dimon could have told you that about any CDS. At the strip club you flirt with some young hot chicks. It’s easy; there is no struggle, mercifully. They act really sweet and show their goods for next to nothing. Your wife can’t use a strip club as grounds for divorce. It is not adultery. It doesn’t cost you diamond rings and gold jewelry like a mistress would. It makes you feel a little bit better about your sad miserable existence working in a cubicle somewhere. You’re still a sad miserable fucker, but at least you can still vaguely smell Coco’s cheap slutty perfume in your hair.
I wish my life was this interesting. Why can’t I write like that??
(Raises hand. Furtive nod of head) ;(
Do you do it at 2 PM in the afternoon on a Wednesday?
You either want to become Warren Buffett or a playboy. You ca’tn be both.
Buffett and Gates have boring lives and no HCBs.
I had some afternoons At Lace and also at Centerfolds in Boston. It’s like any industry. The bad shift needs the dinero bad, so they do bad things. It’s
Yo spun, this bumps’ for you!
What’s the joint near the WTC that only has Eastern European chicks? I like that place when I visit NYC
There is one near the WTC? Maybe ill hit up that spot after work - anyone down?
I’m also not a big fan of strip clubs. I bypassed the entire experience for my own bachelor party and opted for a night hitting clubs with my guy and gal friends. The fact that I got invited to a bachelor party in San Fran just jogged my memory of the “flashlight room” at O’Farrell Theatre.
I got to know my fair share of strippers when I was involved in the rave scene way back when. They partied like crazy, did a lot of drugs, and intentionally went after sugar daddies. Most of the girls were really nice and a hoot to party with. But you knew there was a ton of baggage there you didn’t want to touch.
Alright, it’s Friday kids, and uncle CFAvsMBA has a story for y’all.
As many of you know, I put in my resignation last week at my current firm. Today is my last day at work at my current firm and I’m not doing a damn thing. Anyways, last night around 5:00 PM, some of the parters gathered around my cube (that’s right, my cube, I’m not a BSD like most L1ers on the forum with corner offices) and said we should go out for happy hour to celebrate. Given I drink every night anyway, I figure, “Sure, why not, get a few top shelf drinks out of the firm.” These two partners got sht eating grins and said great, we’ll leave at 7:00 and get some drinks.
As I wrap up that last bit of sht for the day, I meet up with those two partners and we exit the building. Upon getting to the mean streets of midtown, these two BSDs say we need to cab it to said establishment. Whatever I say, cabs are a waste of money and take forever to get anywhere. I’m a subway guy. The cab then heads out and not to my surprise, these two married dilberts want to get happy hout at a strip club. I almost took my chances and bailed from the cab into oncoming traffic, but I didn’t.
We go into said strip club guarded by another gorilla in a suit and find a table near stage. See my initial post about the girls being 6-7s and the partners throwing it around like total marks. One of the guys was going on and on talking about ‘his’ firm and the clients and how much business he’s doing with the stripper nodding and bobbing probably thinking she can add another zero the cost of the champange room for him. One of the partners bought me a dance from a very attractive woman and she went to work on the brotha. She asks me my name mid dance and I tell her ‘CFAvsMBA.’ She coos and says, ‘Oooh, that’s my son’s name, he’s 4.’ I almost pushed her off of me. Strippers need to stay in their character. Please continue to live the fable of just turning 18, unsure of what you want out of life and who you are, and you’re doing this to pay your tuition for school and cocain.
All in all I cut loose a bit, harrassed some dancers, drank top shelf, then bolted close to 10ish as the partners were leaving to go home and kiss their kids good night. I then carried on my night at normal establishments, running game, and going home with a dime after telling her my strip club frustration. She turned into a sheep in wolfs clothing as there was no insertion anywhere, but all in all it was a real sense of accomplishment. Long live NoFap4Lyfe.
Now I’m hungover and enjoying some Eggs Benny in the office as I type this tale looking forward to bolting around 3:00 PM and rip sht up again tonight.
It’ll be a lonely cubicle without you, CvM. 
I couldn’t imagine working next to you Bchad. We’d be pontificating worldwide resolutions all day long going as far as the media’s perception of THIS ECONOMY all the way to individual colon clensing care. It’d be fun. Not sure how much work we’d get done.
Good story, care to share the establishment?
As for the question to going to strip clubs alone - I actually prefer this. Due to this, i am always questioned why i am there alone, along with the standard stripper questions about what you do where you from. I tolerate enough bs small talk throughout the workday so when im at said place, I really want to enjoy the show without the noise. Some girls get offended by me asking them not to speak, others get intriqued.
We do that anyway.
Hope your new job doesn’t block AF. What would you do then?
^ I have a smartphone so I’d be chumming away on the can during one of my many bathroom breaks per my colon clensing.
I do not wish to share the name of said establishment. Does it really matter? They are all the same at the end of the day with the lights, girls, wack dj, and watered down overpriced drinks.