Unfortunately, NYC is a bit too far from me.
mk17, aren’t you in te GVA? Greater Vanuatu (Toronto) Area. Want free lunch?
I am indeed in the GVA. Pop me a PM sometime.
This was my first cold email, would appreciate any advice to make it better. Sent it out last week, no reply.
"Hey ______,
I’m emailing you in hopes of getting any advice or direction from a professional in equity research, as I’m hoping to enter this field. I graduated with a BComm. degree this year from U of ______, and I also completed the CFA Level 2 exam (Level 3 Candidate) this past June. I notice you have quite an extensive amount of experience in the field, along with your CFA designation, and many analyst accolades. I would be eternally grateful if you wouldn’t mind answering a few questions I had, or shedding any advice/direction for someone in my position. I do not have any work experience in the field, and realize the uphill battle of such. I would welcome any form of communication, whether via email, phone, or in person, whatever is most convenient for you. Thank you for your time. Cheers." After the fact, I realized I’d rathr just say I’m a Level 3 CFA candidate (ie. not repeat myself, passed and candidate…). I also should not have used the word “eternally” lol. Little over the top!
Sounds like a desperado
I haven’t seen the world “accolade” in nearly a decolade.
one just says it’s desperate, the other has a problem with an outdated word. how much do I owe you guys for the advice. top shelf.
232 posts and you don’t know how things go around here?
Did you send this to an Analyst or an Associate? Don’t bother Analysts with this kinda undergrad Q&A. Go for the associate and you increase your chances by 1%. Better than 0%.
Is it earnings season for his sector? Don’t email him, straight to the shit list.
Email’s much too long. If you’ve ever had a job that was busy you’d understand the affection we all have for brief emails.
Do your own research first. Ask questions that demonstrate you have a good understanding of the field. You’re trying to get into Equity RESEARCH afterall. Asking a guy out for coffee/phone chat and giving the impression that you’re going to ask questions GOOGLE can answer, is not the way to go. Not saying this per your email exactly, but if I got that impression, I would ask myself why the fk would I waste my personal time for someone who is so uninformed and unresourceful. Think about what industry you’re trying to get into and focus your efforts in pretending that you belong.
I don’t really have a problem with the word “accolade” except that it seems excessively erudite for for a business letter. It’s part of what gives it that “desperate” feel. Also, I just noticed that you use expensive words in your letter, but then start off with “Hey, ____”. What’s up with that? Are you being formal or informal??
Here’s what I would suggest (I capitalized my additions, but didn’t bother to strikeout the parts that I removed).
“DEAR ______,
I’m WRITING you in hopes of getting SOME advice or direction from AN EQUITY RESEARCH PROFESSIONAL, as PART OF MY WORK TO ENTER THE FIELD. I graduated with a BComm. degree this year from U of ______ and HAVE PASSED THE FIRST TWO LEVELS OF THE CFA exams AS OF this YEAR. I CHOSE you BECAUSE YOU HAVE have an extensive amount of experience in the field, along with A CFA designation, and YOU ARE RECOGNIZED AS A LEADER IN YOUR INDUSTRY. I would be grateful if you WOULD MEET (OR TELEPHONE, IF NOT LOCAL) WITH ME BRIEFLY TO DISCUSS YOUR EXPERIENCES AND PERHAPS OFFER advice/direction for someone in my position.
ALTHOUGH I do not YET have any work experience in the field, and realize IT IS HIGHLY COMPETITIVE, I would welcome any CHANCE TO TALK - BY email, phone, or in person - AT whatever TIME AND PLACE is most convenient for you. I APPRECIATE ANY ATTENTION YOU CAN OFFER, AS I AM HIGHLY MOTIVATED AND ADMIRE WHAT YOU’VE ACCOMPLISHED.
SINCERELY,…”
–
Now, having written the letter for you, all I can say is that it better not show up on *my* desk. 
man chad is the king. it would take me 3 hours to come up with that email
^ mad props.
I can’t believe the chairman won’t even throw you a free ipad once in a while.
I’m networking with you mfers someday, using the email template from bchad!
so if that template comes into my email box one day, I’ll know it’s a AF’er? not a bad thing…
Could you at least do them a favor and reveal yourself at that point so they can know to abandon that path immediately?
and have people figure out I’m a big green frog sitting behind a keyboard? that’s giving too much away
people should be careful what they post here, especially if it can be identified. point in case, the guy who got his interview canceled because he asked how to pronounce Nguyen and allegedly his interviewer found out.
Im sorry but I really dont care if I am interviewing someone and they butcher my name… Im used to it, its happened all my life, I even get called the wrong name constantly. it is what it is.
99% of those posts were in the Level1/Level 2/Level 3 forums. For the most part those forums have incredibly helpful, humble people (eg. magic man). I guess from what you say it sounds like the careers section is full of entitled, condescending, d-bags, who think they’re stand-up comedians…
Thanks for the advice. I am a little confused though b/c you and someone else mentioned it’s too long of an email and “desperate”, but per the template that bchad gave, it’s much shorter, and could even be construed as less desperate imo. Although I will admit, the word “eternally” in that email has and still makes me cringe…
Also, I’m not disagreeing, but re: asking better questions in body of first email, wouldn’t that also be too soon/make it too long/be intrusive. He hasn’t even agreed to give me any time, so I think asking questions about the industry, even intelligent ones, would not be a great idea? Or if you meant he INTERPRETS my email as one that will lead to simple (google-able) questions, well I’m not sure what gives that idea?
To be completely honest, it was more of an informal email, but those are just words I use in every day language… I don’t see them as “expensive” but I suppose that’s up for interpretation. Now “erudite”…you must be broke after using that one
Re: my previous post right above this one - my original email was deemed as too long, would this not be suicidal then? or do you disagree that a longer email isn’t necessarily a big issue…
Other than that, thanks for the advice, it’s very much appreciated. I’ll definitely incorporate many of those changes into my email.
lol bchad for the ban in 3…2…1…
I used “erudite” for irony. I see you almost got it.
Different people have different attention spans. Traders would prefer you speak in as compact a line as possible, others may want more, because how you speak often reflects how you think.
This note is approximately as long as your original, but did you notice that it shifted the balance of the discussion? You didn’t sound like you were groveling and suggesting you are unworthy, and it also spent some time stroking the guy’s ego. Why will he be more likely to read it? Because it shows that you have perhaps done a little research on him and are saying nice things about him. People like to read that they are leaders in their field and that their experiences are worth hearing from. They’ll take more time to read that than they will about what your research project was senior year at U of Whatnot. Or if you want to know whether banking is better sector to cover than telecom.
When I was writing these letters in my search, I wrote something approximately like this and this length and got a surprisingly high hit rate (something around 75%, though some cases did take a while to respond). It genuinely surprised me, but it helped a lot. It still took ages to convert that into a work offer, but it got me the informational interviews without a hitch.
Youre free to disregard a genuine attempt to help you, and I encourage you to polish the letter in a way that makes you feel it sounds like you, but if you go on one of these interviews, for your own good, please don’t be as dismissive of whatever those guys suggest to you as you have been here.