My office Christmas party was this weekend. Some people, thankfully not me, got a little bit drunk.
We have a new chick in another part of the office that I kind of like but she has a boyfriend, who she brought to the party. So I talked shit to her a bit and was friendly to her nit wit of a boyfriend. AF community: what do you think is the proper way to interact with the significant others of people you want to date. Ignore them? Be a dick? Kill them with kindness?
Needless to say I was exhausted and felt like crap the next day. Looking forward to vacation later this week.
Any crazy stories from the big NYC holiday parties?
Mine was 2 days ago. I spent most of my time after dinner at the L’Oreal party next door. I “accidentally” opened the wrong door and stayed there for the next 3 hours.
Attractive women are like good jobs, some candidate is going to fill that seat almost no matter what. If you want to be in the seat, most likely you will have to displace the person already there or catch the narrow window in which the position is open (but generally displace). Ignore the other guy and present a superior value proposition – women intuitively want to trade up so it will take care of itself if you are really the better choice. You have to be significantly better though, not marginally better – it has to be a clear risk-adjusted trade up unless she is already unhappy, in which case she might lateral if it’s bad enough and she’s not too hot.
On a related note, it always amazes me how badly a lot of women are willing to clown their boyfriends when they are out together and they meet an obviously superior man. Men will gawk at any attractive woman, but they don’t usually fawn over them right in front of their girlfriends.
I had lunch with her and a few colleagues before Thanksgiving and was a perfectly friendly, nice person then. It’s been my experience that being that guy doesn’t really work - in my case, it’s never worked, until you’ve shown yourself as the superior alternative as bro mentions. I was nice to the boyfriend because since they’re currently long distance since she moved for the new job with us (another reason I think this one has a time clock on it), be met a ton of people that night and it wouldn’t hurt for him to remember me when the two of them inevitibly talk about the Christmas party again.
I think coddling her and being a jerk to the BF would have been a non-starter. Too transparent.
I had my christmas party this weekend. First time I have been as a single guy in a while which was very interesting. I had one pretty hot single girl feel my chest and invited me out for drinks after. I do not hook up with anybody at work though as a general rule - just don’t do that and there are plenty of single girls where I live. It amazes me how people get so drunk at office christmas parties. Maybe it is because people with kids don’t get out much, but some people literally have 3 glasses of wine and are wasted. Nothing good comes out of acting the fool at an office party so I tend to play it quite smooth and be fun/social/engaging but not get too drunk.
Bromion’s advice is pretty spot on. I would add don’t ever talk bad about the boyfriend to the girl. Let her figure out why you’re the better choice on her own.
The girl needs to be aware of your intentions, but there needs to be some plausible deniability in order for her to agree to hang out with you one on one. If you flat out ask her out on a date, her autoresponse will be “I have a boyfriend.”
In my case, we started out walking her dog together (we were neighbors), then going to the park together, then we went to a concert together at a bar, and then once the alcohol worked its wonderful magic, that’s when the typical flirtation could begin. We kept hanging out and she dumped her boyfriend about a month later.
Girls with boyfriends will try to friend zone you HARD. Do not let that happen.
@Stratman. But if you date a girl who cheated on her BF, then she would probably do the same to you. Unless, you’re not serious about it to begin with…
Dating is dating but if you’re in an exclusive relationship with someone, you’re expected to hold up your part of the deal. Your significant other placed their trust in you and if you break that trust, IMO, you’re not a good person.
Never, ever break eye contact. No matter what. I don’t care if you are actually talking to somebody else or eating a banana, if you maintain eye contact relentlessly then he will be forced to back down and she will be putty in your hands.
A month is a sufficient time period for a trade up, so in the absence of other info, IMO we should assume that’s what happened and it wasn’t cheating. There was a recruiting period, and the superior offer won. Similar to the employment market, most women won’t just quit their job without another one to go to.
Depends on your definition of cheating I suppose, but in my mind there was no cheating because there was no physical stuff. But I made her aware of my interest, which is all I could really do. The ball was in her court.
She also wasn’t going behind her BF’s back. He knew we were out together, which to this day blows my mind.