Just to be clear, that was a +1 for a reverse 3-boyfriend situation? I don’t know how that would work, maybe I’m getting old. KarenC Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > reverse it for a 3-boyfriend situation…
daily
XSellSide Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > 80 - 60 = 20 hours of 2nd and 3rd girlfriend > potential. Dating arbitrage my friend. i honestly have to agree with this statement… maybe she’s not really looking for anything all that serious right now anyway, since it seems her career comes first…
It’s not just the boys that do this - us girls sometimes don’t want anything serious either so dating arbitrage works out just as well for us too 
i agree with karenC
So, you’re saying +1 to a guy and two chicks? I concur.
JohnThainsLimoDriver Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > So, you’re saying +1 to a guy and two chicks? I > concur. …or 3 - keep the options open
+1 to extenuating circumstances, whether or not its a guy or a girl with more than one “significant” other…
KarenC Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > JohnThainsLimoDriver Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > So, you’re saying +1 to a guy and two chicks? I > > concur. > > > …or 3 - keep the options open Good sh!t. So are we bringing Mona or akanska in to round out the group? I’m leaning towards akanska, she doesn’t seem as moody and Mona. Maybe sherbeer too, but we haven’t established how she looks like yet.
Having now been doing the NYC dating thing for about 18 months, I think it depends on the girl. There were two in particular that I really liked who were busier than I was. Both were redheads though, and that is my weakness. Anyway, the first is / was a Broadway actress. Beautiful girl. Never had time. Never. Always going to auditions. Always in a show. Never had time. I’ve since learned that actresses never “shut it off”. They are always networking, or doing something. Even with you. For example, once we were out om the UWS drinking and she saw a castmember from Grease and immediately went over and started chatting it up. She had never met him previously. Thus, I never date actresses anymore (unless they are redheads, in which case I am open for negotiations depending on the reps and warrants she is willing to give up on the front end) The second was / is a fashion designer. This could have worked out, but I’m not much of a casual dater myself, and that sent her running. We still keep in contact occasionally. I still consider this door open, and it wouldn’t surprise me if I get a 2AM call one of these asking me “What I’m doing”. But the timing was a serious challenge. It was worse than scheduling a conference call with multiple parties. She was totally worth it though. I think this ultimately depends on you though, much like karenC said: is she worth it? Some girls are. Some aren’t. Maybe she’s a rockstar in bed, but she could be fairly insane otherwise. Have you conducted enough due diligence on your end? What does the payout stream look like or the risk return ratio. That said, no matter what happens, do not shut the door. You always want to leave open the possibility of a 2AM call or, god forbid, should she lose her job, she may call you back.
Jeez I say 3 to keep options open and you want …what…5/6?
Tsk tsk don’t be a jealous jenny
I say keep it casual for now and continue to look for other fish in the sea. Do not get attached to this girl by any means as you could get burned. If she is really into you, she will find a way to fit you into her work schedule on a more regular basis. If she is always busy and canceling dates, this signals to me that “she is just not that into you.” (good movie by the way). She sounds like a tough one to read. Maybe the millionaire matchmaker can you some advice.
Hey guys, thank you all for the feedback. I think this girl has quite a bit of potential. For the last eight months, I’ve basically just been dating casually and non-exclusively. I think the current girl has a lot of promise, and since I met her, I actually don’t really miss the bachelor, no-strings-attached type of life. However, the one drawback is that I think that she’s more concerned about her job than dating/relationships at the moment (though, we’ve only been going out for a couple months so I can’t say that she’ll always be like this). That’s too bad, because when we do spend time together, it’s quality – we spend a lot of time just hanging around either at her place or mine, cooking, watching movies, and just the usual stuff that guys and girls do when they’re attracted to each other. However, once her work gets in the way, everything else seems to go on the shelf. I think she knows that I’m interested, and the more interest I show, the more comfortable she feels about putting me on the backburner (very predictable…I should probably exercise some self-restraint). It’s obvious that her job’s her prime concern, and I can’t blame her for it. On the other hand, when I asked her how she’d feel if I started dating other people, she didn’t seem to take that very well (though she also realized that my request wasn’t unfair, because we hadn’t discussed any type of exclusivity in our relationship). Basically, it seems like she and I both put our careers first. I don’t want girls to become a distraction for my career, but when I do have downtime, I’d like the girl to be available to hang out with. It seems that she feels the same way too, so we end up being pretty unavailable to each other during rather inopportune times. In any case, I don’t think I want to let her go now since we’re still getting to know each other, but if she plans to be this career-focused her whole life, I don’t think that’s a good match for me. Like most of you have said, I guess it’s the type of thing where I have to decide whether she’s worth dealing with the chaotic hours, and I haven’t made up my mind on that yet. Hopefully it’s something I’ll figure out sooner rather than later…
Your career can’t keep you warm at night Unless you happen to be a fire fighter or something like that I guess…
I agree. Keep it casual and don’t be afraid to fill up the surplus 20 hours you have with alternatives. If she decides you’re a priority, then good. If not, then you haven’t wastes your remaining time.
eire1130 – just curious, why did your not being a casual dater send girl #2 running? Was it that you personally didn’t believe in dating multiple girls at once, or because you didn’t want her to be seeing multiple guys at the same time? thommo77 – oftentimes when I try not to get too attached to a girl, it also means that I end up detaching myself from the situation. Usually that seems to make the girl want to chase me more, but occasionally it makes them resentful too. They think I’m just playing a game, but really I’m just trying to extricate myself from the situation because I have more urgent concerns to worry about. How did you strike the balance?
But she loves her work more than she does me And honestly, at twenty-three I would probably love my work more than I did she So we, ain’t we It’s me, and her 'Cause what she prefers over me, is work And that’s, where we, differ So I have to give her Free, time, even if it hurts So breathe, mami, it’s deserved You’ve been put on this earth to be All you can be, like the reserves And me? My time in the army, it’s served So I have to allow she, her, time to serve The time’s now for her In time she’ll mature And maybe we, can be, we, again like we were Finally, my time’s too short to share And to ask her now, it ain’t fair So yeah, she lost one
it’s time to move on. people don’t just change over night. people who are work-a-holics…ARE work-a-holics. but u will probably stay with her in order to keep the “high status” girl friend as people often do. u will care more about your social preception among your friends and at parties. and people will have a higher perception of u for being able to get a girl with a high status job. but then after a while u will realize what is really important in life…but it’ll be too late.
purealpha Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I’d dump her. Analyst reaffirms sell recommendation.