JohnThainsLimoDriver Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > goldenboy09 Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > guy that lives next door to us is an investment > > banker for a public finance group and trying to > > hire my wife… I am like no way… > > > Is he good looking? hahaha
Markbot wrote: it’s time to move on. people don’t just change over night. people who are work-a-holics…ARE work-a-holics. but u will probably stay with her in order to keep the “high status” girl friend as people often do. u will care more about your social preception among your friends and at parties. and people will have a higher perception of u for being able to get a girl with a high status job. but then after a while u will realize what is really important in life…but it’ll be too late. Right on.
Numi – good luck with this. It sounds like you’ve met someone you connect with which is great! I would just play it by ear for the next few months and see if you’re still concerned about her availability. At this point in your relationship it’s perfectly reasonable for her to make her career a priority – afterall she’s the one who has to make sure her bills are paid every month. I think women approach careers differently than men and have a lot more flexibility. I know at least three female I-bankers who dropped out and now work as an assistant kindergarten teacher, a furniture refinisher and a non-profit fundraiser. People’s interests and priorities can change over time. At the end of the day it’s really the person and your relationship with them because a job does not define the person.
nolabird032 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > ancientmtk Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > mo34 Wrote: > > > -------------------------------------------------- > > > ----- > > > goldenboy09 Wrote: > > > > > > -------------------------------------------------- > > > > > > ----- > > > > my wife works more then me and it sucks > > > sometimes. > > > > as long as you have time together you > should > > be > > > > fine > > > > > > > > > that’s because she’s your wife. If she was > just > > a > > > “date” , why go through the trouble ? > Specially > > > that sooner or later she will dump you for > her > > job > > > anyway. > > > > > > are females really that self-centered? > > > Unfair question. It’s not like he’s ever actually > talked to one in real life before. Why the hate? Do you know me? I’m trying to save him valuable time. If a girl would rather work 80 hours per week than get to know someone … it’s pretty obvious where this is heading.
relax. i’m kidding mo. you gotta remember that everyone has different needs and every relationship is different. numi actually said that he’s been in her shoes before where his work schedule was very demanding and his gf at the time wasn’t understanding. so he’s got a unique perspective where he can actually see how things are from both POV. you’re making huge generalizations/accusations that are not necessarily applicable to every person that has a demanding job right now. numi himself serves as an example of someone who was in a job that demanded a lot of hours, but now has more free time. what if its seasonal (ie tax) and the rest of the year she’s not this busy? what if she’s just trying to get a head start in her career for a few years and has a plan to do this until she can land a job in another division? you could be right, but you don’t have all the information to make such statements as “she’s going to dump you for her job”. that’s just plain silly.
Hi guys, thank you all for the insightful responses over the last couple days. I got terribly slammed with work, and found myself working 35 hours over the past two days (rough life, but slightly amusing in an ironic fashion given the title of this thread). It’s exciting that this thread has received over 100 posts, but I guess relationships are a topic that everyone has a perspective on so I’m thankful for everyone’s posts. To elaborate, the girl I’m currently dating is 25, and has been working in investment banking for almost two years. She doesn’t see herself having a long-term career in banking and eventually does want to start a family with 2-3 kids, and wouldn’t mind being a stay-at-home mother to raise them if the family income supports it. (Don’t worry guys, we aren’t talking about marriage yet, but the topic of family did come up in casual conversation because family is very important to both of us.) She’s not your typical banker chick and we have plenty of interesting things to talk about aside from work, but generally being a go-getter personality, she wants to do the best that she can at her job even if it’s not a long-term aspiration for her. Taking everyone’s thoughts into account and after speaking with the girl over the last couple of days, I’m pretty confident she is interested in me but I also realize that the relationship is going to develop pretty gradually. She’s on the conservative side when it comes to dating, and the fact that we don’t get to see each other often because of work-life balance is another hurdle. Those two things are my biggest reservations right now. However, I’m willing to take a wait-and-see approach because she insists that she doesn’t think her job will always be this demanding, and also because I’m not in any real rush myself. Does that make sense? MehdiOcre, cfa2grunt and nolabird032 noted that it’s possible that the girl is just trying to establish her career, and that she won’t be doing the banking lifestyle forever. However, I really have no idea how temporary it is. I think lifestyle does improve as you move up in the ranks, but it’s probably going to be a grind for her for as long as I’m still living in Texas (which will be for another 1-2 years, depending on how business school shakes out). Again, I *think* she’ll make more time for me as she gets better at her job and assuming she becomes more attracted to me, but who knows when and if that’ll happen. After thinking about what you guys said, I plan to wait and see how things go with this girl, but I’m pretty resolute about keeping my options open as well. I think I’d be doing myself a disservice if I allowed myself to become too interested in this girl right now, especially since one of the things I’ve enjoyed most about Texas is experiencing the singles scene here as an eligible bachelor from out of town.
gitty up cowboy!
Nolabird032 – as far as my last serious relationship went, basically I was the guy working 60-70 hours and my girlfriend at the time was working 35-40 hours a week doing clinical research and applying to medical school. She’ll be starting school in the fall. At the time, I thought being able to carve out a couple days of the week to see her was great, and frankly it was sufficient for me. But, I think that time of my life has come and gone – grinding out long hours in the office didn’t make me any happier and probably just made me even more miserable. Plus, now that she and I aren’t together anymore, I occasionally have regrets about not spending more time with her. If I had, maybe things could have worked out? The counter-argument to what I mentioned above would be that maybe I just valued career more than relationships at that time of my life, and it’s possible that things wouldn’t have worked out anyway once I left New York given my penchant for socializing with the fairer gender. I’m also fortunate now to be working fewer hours and getting better pay (I guess that’s something we’re all going for). Given my current situation, I think my values have changed somewhat in that rather than being extremely focused on work, I guess you could say that I’m still focused on work but am leaving myself more time to enjoy life. I’m in a happier situation financially, but I also realize that money alone doesn’t buy happiness. What do you guys think about that? Did you guys feel that your priorities changed in this respect as you got older and moved up in the corporate ladder, or has your career been as important to you as it ever was? To the comments by IheartMath, JTLD, mo34, goldenboy09, purealpha, TheAliMan, my personal thoughts about women is that I put a lot more value on how I think they’ll be able to take care of me and my future family, as opposed to career alone. Fortunately, I’ve met enough women that are in good careers and know how to take care of a guy, so I know they’re out there. I think when I was a little younger, I wanted someone that looked great on paper and had a great job, probably because I put so much value on my own career and I wanted to find someone that seemed like me in those respects. However, at the end of the day, I realize that’s not what makes me happy and I don’t know that most guys care that much about that stuff either. In recent months, I had casually dated a dermatologist, a lawyer, and a consultant, and while I thought they were great gals in most respects, I also noticed that they would occasionally try to impress me with how gung-ho they were about their careers. And while I admired their passion and dedication with respect to their jobs, it really had no impact on my happiness, and sometimes even negatively impacted my sentiments about them when I realized we wouldn’t have much time to hang out. I think my close guy friends feel the same way, as we really don’t mind being the breadwinners for the family and would rather just come home to someone that knew how to care for us. What do you all think? There seemed to have been some polarized opinions between guys and girls here.
nolabird032 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > relax. i’m kidding mo. > > you gotta remember that everyone has different > needs and every relationship is different. numi > actually said that he’s been in her shoes before > where his work schedule was very demanding and his > gf at the time wasn’t understanding. so he’s got a > unique perspective where he can actually see how > things are from both POV. > you’re making huge generalizations/accusations > that are not necessarily applicable to every > person that has a demanding job right now. numi > himself serves as an example of someone who was in > a job that demanded a lot of hours, but now has > more free time. what if its seasonal (ie tax) and > the rest of the year she’s not this busy? what if > she’s just trying to get a head start in her > career for a few years and has a plan to do this > until she can land a job in another division? you > could be right, but you don’t have all the > information to make such statements as “she’s > going to dump you for her job”. that’s just plain > silly. You’re right, I obviously didn’t read the original vignette 
… I was making a general observation.
Keep seeing her and date other girls on the side. 3-6 months from now pick the winner!
Just after getting through the 6 pages on this Iheartmath - I can see where you’re coming from I would have thought, especially from the CFA lads that you would want an equal, a girl who would be intelligent enough to hold a conversation and bring contribute to the income… Lads - so from the looks of it, most of you want her to be a stay at home mum or to have a very flexible part-time job such as admin/techer…I usually don’t say this but please tell me I’m wrong, that you would want her, in this day and age, to be able to go out and work at whatever makes her happy…
This is good stuff. I wonder how Numi finds the time to write all this up
WTF is work-life balance? Go into sales or some sort of GL accounting. Or be a teacher.
WTF is work-life balance? Go into sales or some sort of GL accounting. Or be a teacher.
WTF is work-life balance? Go into sales or some sort of GL accounting. Or be a teacher.
WTF is work-life balance? Go into sales or some sort of GL accounting. Or be a teacher.
WTF is work-life balance? Go into sales or some sort of GL accounting. Or become an AF poster.