we spend a lot of time telling her about out careers and education. she knows we work a lot to make a better life for all of us. We fell on the short end of the stick before but we are a team…
IHeartMath, my post was not suggesting that women should stay at home. I just think that, if someone is working 80+ hours per week and has no time for a relationship (let alone a future family), then it might make sense for the “neglected” SO to end the relationship if time together is a priority. I’m actually a woman with a stay-at-home husband (and 2 small children). I hate working long hours and can do 60 hours/week max because it’s important to me to see my kids. That’s why we HAD kids. When my husband was still working, we tried to stagger our schedules to deal with daycare drop-off/pick-up. But I don’t know how 2 people working 60+ hours per week (simultaneously) can just let nannies raise their children. Not our style at all. Something has to give.
I’m totally not saying that its possible to have a relationship or family while working 80+ hours per week… balance is important… I was more just noticing the theme that guys were preferring a woman who’s primary duty in the relationship was to be there for them… and trying to get some insight into what is actually preferred…
Oh, yeah. Agree with you on that. “Wife as helpmate.” Puke!
goldenboy, i think i admire your perseverance. I hope things work out with “work/life” balance and you can then tell the younger generations about it.
I am. See my other post about the mini doc I am making. Not about me but kids growing up and choices.
IheartMath Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I was more just > noticing the theme that guys were preferring a > woman who’s primary duty in the relationship was > to be there for them… and trying to get some > insight into what is actually preferred… You already know the answer. Many US women think becoming an awesome power chick like Sex in the City or whatever will make them more attractive to males, we don’t work that way.
ughhh, sexy in the city? no. not what I’m getting at.
goldenboy09 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > my wife works more then me and it sucks sometimes. > as long as you have time together you should be > fine that’s because she’s your wife. If she was just a “date” , why go through the trouble ? Specially that sooner or later she will dump you for her job anyway.
maadeezy Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > You will never get a full relationship with a > partner that works all the time. Plus if you have > kids, they will be raised by Nanny’s. My > preference is to honestly find a good house wife > who will take care of you. That to me is more > important than a dual income. > > Just my 2 cents. Problem with housewives is they get bored eventually and start chasing you down. Best option is somewhere in the middle. I would say teachers probably make the best mothers. Their work schedule is manageable and they know how to raise kids.
mo34 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > goldenboy09 Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > my wife works more then me and it sucks > sometimes. > > as long as you have time together you should be > > fine > > > that’s because she’s your wife. If she was just a > “date” , why go through the trouble ? Specially > that sooner or later she will dump you for her job > anyway. are females really that self-centered?
ancientmtk Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > mo34 Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > goldenboy09 Wrote: > > > -------------------------------------------------- > > > ----- > > > my wife works more then me and it sucks > > sometimes. > > > as long as you have time together you should > be > > > fine > > > > > > that’s because she’s your wife. If she was just > a > > “date” , why go through the trouble ? Specially > > that sooner or later she will dump you for her > job > > anyway. > > > are females really that self-centered? Unfair question. It’s not like he’s ever actually talked to one in real life before.
funny the post on teachers… my wife was a teacher when we met… now she is an admin
She’s an admin and she works that many hours? I thought you were going to say she’s an I-Banker or a doctor or something.
yes the school she works at is a start up funded by bill gates and john arnold… they are opening 2 schools a year every year for next 5-8 years… she works a ton and does a lot of extras… they also have partnerships with tfa and other places so 50% work, 30% socializing 20% hr… that is the typical mix for all the people in her job
guy that lives next door to us is an investment banker for a public finance group and trying to hire my wife… I am like no way…
Nonprofit work is hard too, and people don’t realize it. You have to work long hours to get stuff done because people are unrealistic about budgets and timelines, and are always afraid that if they are realistic, funders will decide not to fund the activity. If you stop when you run out of money, stuff doesn’t get done and you’ll never get another project funded. If you are realistic about your budget, funders will decide to fund someone else who wasn’t realistic and promises the same for half the price. Funders help out by making these fears legitimate. Result: 60+ hours work per week at $32k per year, as long as you have at least a master’s degree in the relevant field. After 10 years experience, you might get to $70-80k. Bonus? Most don’t give any. I worked for a nonprofit that was being “innovative” and giving bonuses. The amount? Around $500. Feeling that “you’re making a difference,” helps for the first few years, until two things happen: 1) you discover that the “difference” you’re making is way too small compared to the problem you are addressing, and 2) you’d like to have a family and realize that there’s no way you’re gonna do it on a non-profit salary.
That sounds really interesting, goldenboy. Easier to put in the hours when you know it’s something worthwhile like that.
I am her biggest cheerleader. You have to be when sometimes the hours dont add up to the results.
goldenboy09 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > guy that lives next door to us is an investment > banker for a public finance group and trying to > hire my wife… I am like no way… Is he good looking?