I’m only good looking and successful on the internet, but I’m married and have to listen to a lot of my single friends complain about the struggles of singledom. I always viewed it as a logical thing based around the following:
All I really want to do is get down. If I could have millions of dollars but never have sex again, I’d pass. Money makes me happy, but sex makes me happier.
I’ve never really had sex that didn’t make me happy. There are varying degrees of happy, and I’m sure my wife would say she’s had all sorts of bad sex, but for me, it’s all satisfying.
The hustle is sort of hard. I hated going out to clubs.
The pool of compatible people is much larger than we realize. Fairy tales of true love and a special someone are mostly BS. Physical attraction, goal symmetry and a small amount of compromise is all it takes.
So, what was a guy to do? I hesitate to say I settled, because I think my wife is beautiful and we have a good relationship, but I locked her up early. I’m now 10 years into abundant, effortless sex. Busting my ass and playing all sorts of games might have allowed me to get with a 9 or 10 here or there over the last decade, but I seized the first mover advantage. The perfect is the enemy of the good as they say. The effort I put into locking up a 7(not bad for a 5) has paid off a hundredfold over the last decade. I think most people are deluding themselves into thinking there is something better out there. There might be, but all we really see of other people anymore are the highlights. Nobody posts pictures to Facebook or Instagram of their bad days, their fights, etc. Just the highlights.
So to give perspective, I’m having a baby in August with a girl I will have been dating a little over a year and 2 months at that point. When we found out she was pregnant we’d only been dating 4 months, I was 30 and she was 21 and I didn’t think it was a serious relationship, although she did. I was very sure I did not want a kid yet. She doesn’t have what most people would consider a BSD career, but she’s significantly less jaded and open to life. After the initial panick I made some changes, rethought my life and sold down to a house I could afford to buy in cash. Things have been a bit stressed with getting all our ducks in a row, but overall, I’ve been suprised with how happy we’ve been and have learned a massive amount about myself and herself and relationships. Mostly, that much of what I was chasing wasn’t what I should have been pursuing and I count myself very lucky to have been “stuck with” the right person to help me find contentment in life. I wouldn’t have gotten that by following the course I was on. I also consider myself very lucky to have found someone who is not demanding or materialistic.
It also helps that I think she’s easy on the eyes.
Damn. Many twists in this page turner. 1) Black Swan the propecia didn’t work or you stopped taking it? 2) What was your thought process when you found she was pregnant after only four months? What have you learned?
It’s always easy to say #4 when you are already with someone. I was the same. But you acknowledge #3 and you remember how hard it was to meet someone you really cared about.
#2 I just can’t agree with because sex with randoms no matter how hot doesn’t do it for me. I’m just not wired that way. I am happy you are in a happy relationship though.
Bchad; congratulations! That is extremely awesome to hear from a AF legend.
I stopped taking it. I heard a bunch of negative press about side effects, and while I do think it was effective, I wasn’t going to have a full head of hair. So I buzzed my hair and am fortunate that I’m a pretty athletic guy so it seems to work for me.
At first I really freaked out hard and even leaned strongly towards the abortion camp for a bit. But I could tell pretty quickly that she wanted to keep it. At the time I thought this was a short term relationship and didn’t think we’d necessarily have a future. She has grown up exponentially since then, as have I. We talk almost every day about how lucky we are because we really didn’t know each other that well and it could have gone either way but it appears we’re going to be very happy together. I don’t want to prematurely celebrate because the fact is the baby isn’t even here yet, but so far, things seem great. My problem with the current setup in serial dating from where I stand now is that you just get used to breaking up. The motivation to try and to adapt to each other isn’t really there, people just assume there’s a better match.
Damn. This thread has some heavy sh*t for a Friday. Once I get my charter and automatically become a BSD on day one, maybe I should move up to NYC and chase some HCB tail for a while. Whenever I’m up there I’m amazed at the female talent.
That’s grea to hear. Black Swan where did you move to? I thought you were in NYC? I remember a few summers back a group of AF were going to meet at electric zoo. I thought you were one of them? I went but I don’t think ever met anyone.
Definitely unrealistic expectations. A lot of women have dated these types of upper echelon guys on occasion and expect that’s who’s going to marry them. This is despite the fact that they may or may not have much to offer in return.
This behavior typically dies down though once women get over the age of 25; reality starts to sink in.
Definitely unrealistic expectations. A lot of women have dated these types of upper echelon guys on occasion and expect that’s who’s going to marry them. This is despite the fact that they may or may not have much to offer in return.
This behavior typically dies down though once women get over the age of 25; reality starts to sink in.
You would be surprised what a woman would do in the name of love, especially as they are approaching 30. In my life, I have already had 3 women from out of town propose to move in with me. These weren’t desperate people either. They put “meeting a great guy” high on their priority list and are willing to sacrifice a lot to get it. On my end, I had to decline as it would have put a lot of pressure on me. I always had the “it’s my way or the highway attitude”. I am not good at compromising so having someone leave a lot behind to come live with me was too much for me to handle, even though the people who wanted to do so were great people. It’s flattering to know that someone was willing to do that but at the end of the day I would feel too guilty if it didn’t work out.
The gal from NYC that I hooked up with at Club Getaway (she’s originally from Florida) is already asking me a bunch of questions about my city and country. She wants to visit and start some kind of long distance thing. No thanks!
Hate to break it to you, but the charter won’t make you a BSD. The BSDs who happen to have the charter either earned their BSD card before taking the exams or possess traits that would have lead them to become BSDs regardless of the charter.